she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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