I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize