We need to rekindle our bromance
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
ok first of all what the fuck
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize