Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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