In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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