I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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