Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
