You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
