I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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