make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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