I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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