: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
