you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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