Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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