Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
