Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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