He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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