I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
