She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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