That's intense
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
