Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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