Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
