when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
