If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
