even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you didnt know i had herpes?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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