after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
