I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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