When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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