She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
