you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize