you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
