I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize