Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
