Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
