Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
