Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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