dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
