Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Randomize
