my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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