Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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