New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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