i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
