if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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