I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Holy sore nipples Batman
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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