Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
either way he was missing a nipple.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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