i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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