spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
