i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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