Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
