Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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