stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
