It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
