can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
