I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
