Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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