Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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