Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
