I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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