I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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