How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
this boner is exhausting
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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