why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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