So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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