There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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