It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Small penises have feelings too.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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